I arrived in Dubai in a whirlwind of contrasting emotion. Excitement and fear, feeling alone and the excitement of finding myself, missing everyone I love and seeing the girl I love again, beginning the big adventure and leaving behind the adventure that got me this far...
As always Ashik and Abby welcomed me and made me feel at home in absolutely no time. Its strange how good friends never need a restart button. Like a 'good' soap opera I guess you can always pick up the story at any point even if you've missed a couple years in between. We had a great day together as I made some new friends and reconnected with some amazing old-new ones too. Between one too many whiskeys, I tried to stave off the excitement of the impending arrival of the princess.
When she did arrive it was dream-, like it has been since chapter one. She called. I left Ashik's, got into a cab and tried to find her hotel. When i eventually did a very crestfallen concierge who had just half an hour earlier checked in a beautiful young lady, tried to cock block me at every turn.
The shock and horror on his face as I described my girlfriend who had just checked in 'alone' was priceless and also rather irritating. "Passport sir... if you have no passport you can not stay." My passport predictably was the last thing I looked at as I left Ashiks flat, packing it safely in my document bag on the side of the bed, "No ways I'll need all this stuff"... Hmmmm.
Luckily I had my ever sharp sharpness. "Well I have my laptop and there's a scan of my passport there." He was quick to try and point out that this was very peculiar and not at all the way things were done at his fine establishment.
At this point, being 3.35am and being so so close to seeing her, my penchant for a bit of fencing had worn thin. I think I may have growled, or perhaps it was just a bit of fire in a look I gave him that made him fold. Mind you, not before telling me I had to pay an extra person surcharge for the apartment.
Eventually, his dreams of spading the chick in 316 lying broken on the floor, I was on my way to the room being led by yet another sad looking Indian bellhop. Dubai's labour force is almost completely Asian. If you're sweeping streets, driving cabs, working in some sort of lowly job here, you're either Phillipino or Indian.
The door opened and as its happened every time before, we were lost in being found. We each tested the ground to see if any of the rules had changed. She brandished the words I love you like a sword to my usually emotionally higher ground stance. At last she was completely comfortable with the fact that we do in fact love each other. This threw me somewhat. I mean, where was my power if not to lead emotionally. Anywho, it was a wonderful time. We talked laughed played and pretended; here in our little bubble away from reality. But often the question of what would happen next reared its ugly head. I think as we reached our most comfortable point in our romance so far, we both also realised quite how much we dont want to do the long distance thing intenet relationship over the next few months.
Relationships need contact and togetherness and direction. All of which we don't have. We dont know if we have any chance for a future, concerning her family and concerning my plans. I mean, God, I can't even get a visa into her world so any chance we now have requires her to leave hers and join mine. A predicament and choice I dont embrace lightly. So as we tip toed around the question we often let it sleep and continued to pretend and dream and love. Its much easier to ignore the monster at your doorstep than to invite him in for supper. I mean, what if its you he wants to eat for supper?
On Friday we celebrated our first Valentines Day together. It was the 17th of February but hey. It was my first Valentines in many years and her first proper Valentines I think ever. It was unplanned and yet perfect. Everything fell into place. We went for supper at the "Thai Kitchen" at the Park Hyatt which is along the Creek which is the waterway that runs between old Dubai and new Dubai.
Then we tried to find a pub called the Irish village only to find out it was closed. Fate however does have wonderful sense of humour and so the only option open to us was a Lebanese club called Sapphire. She spent the night translating the old school ghetto Lebanese songs while I tried to convince her that I could in fact dance to this music. She didn't believe me. Nor did she give me the chance to prove myself. Hhmmmm.... What does it all mean?
I managed to find roses at a garage at 3am on our way home. And I think that lil ninja move did just enough to make me King of the Valentines!
And then before we knew it, it was almost time to say goodbye. Almost time to let go again. And definitely time to finish the answer to the ugly question. Perhaps we knew it from the start. I dont know but I think I did. It felt like goodbye for some reason even though every other time it was goodbye too. We decided we couldnt continue living our lives attached to our phones and through our computer screens. We accepted that the 7 hour time difference would definitely make things much more difficult. It was easier in SA to stay connected. We lived the same second. But now in New York, the added frustration of a severe time difference would certainly help end our constant online interaction. So, we said our goodbyes and decided to let go... To see where this new path would take each of us. We reaffirmed our love but accepted that we would have to let the best thing we've known go to the wind and pray it comes around again or takes us with it.
I drove with her to the airport in the cab and as is Dubai, loving goodbyes are forbidden. And so with the smallest peck on the lips, we smiled goodbye and mouthed I love you...
I have a few more days here before I head off for New York. And she's on her flight home. She's free. Free to mourn, free to move on, released... As am I, I guess. What comes next I dont know... But i do know that whatever it is, its gonna have to live next to the memory of the best I ever had, for a long long time to come.
As always Ashik and Abby welcomed me and made me feel at home in absolutely no time. Its strange how good friends never need a restart button. Like a 'good' soap opera I guess you can always pick up the story at any point even if you've missed a couple years in between. We had a great day together as I made some new friends and reconnected with some amazing old-new ones too. Between one too many whiskeys, I tried to stave off the excitement of the impending arrival of the princess.
When she did arrive it was dream-, like it has been since chapter one. She called. I left Ashik's, got into a cab and tried to find her hotel. When i eventually did a very crestfallen concierge who had just half an hour earlier checked in a beautiful young lady, tried to cock block me at every turn.
The shock and horror on his face as I described my girlfriend who had just checked in 'alone' was priceless and also rather irritating. "Passport sir... if you have no passport you can not stay." My passport predictably was the last thing I looked at as I left Ashiks flat, packing it safely in my document bag on the side of the bed, "No ways I'll need all this stuff"... Hmmmm.
Luckily I had my ever sharp sharpness. "Well I have my laptop and there's a scan of my passport there." He was quick to try and point out that this was very peculiar and not at all the way things were done at his fine establishment.
At this point, being 3.35am and being so so close to seeing her, my penchant for a bit of fencing had worn thin. I think I may have growled, or perhaps it was just a bit of fire in a look I gave him that made him fold. Mind you, not before telling me I had to pay an extra person surcharge for the apartment.
Eventually, his dreams of spading the chick in 316 lying broken on the floor, I was on my way to the room being led by yet another sad looking Indian bellhop. Dubai's labour force is almost completely Asian. If you're sweeping streets, driving cabs, working in some sort of lowly job here, you're either Phillipino or Indian.
The door opened and as its happened every time before, we were lost in being found. We each tested the ground to see if any of the rules had changed. She brandished the words I love you like a sword to my usually emotionally higher ground stance. At last she was completely comfortable with the fact that we do in fact love each other. This threw me somewhat. I mean, where was my power if not to lead emotionally. Anywho, it was a wonderful time. We talked laughed played and pretended; here in our little bubble away from reality. But often the question of what would happen next reared its ugly head. I think as we reached our most comfortable point in our romance so far, we both also realised quite how much we dont want to do the long distance thing intenet relationship over the next few months.
Relationships need contact and togetherness and direction. All of which we don't have. We dont know if we have any chance for a future, concerning her family and concerning my plans. I mean, God, I can't even get a visa into her world so any chance we now have requires her to leave hers and join mine. A predicament and choice I dont embrace lightly. So as we tip toed around the question we often let it sleep and continued to pretend and dream and love. Its much easier to ignore the monster at your doorstep than to invite him in for supper. I mean, what if its you he wants to eat for supper?
On Friday we celebrated our first Valentines Day together. It was the 17th of February but hey. It was my first Valentines in many years and her first proper Valentines I think ever. It was unplanned and yet perfect. Everything fell into place. We went for supper at the "Thai Kitchen" at the Park Hyatt which is along the Creek which is the waterway that runs between old Dubai and new Dubai.
Then we tried to find a pub called the Irish village only to find out it was closed. Fate however does have wonderful sense of humour and so the only option open to us was a Lebanese club called Sapphire. She spent the night translating the old school ghetto Lebanese songs while I tried to convince her that I could in fact dance to this music. She didn't believe me. Nor did she give me the chance to prove myself. Hhmmmm.... What does it all mean?
I managed to find roses at a garage at 3am on our way home. And I think that lil ninja move did just enough to make me King of the Valentines!
And then before we knew it, it was almost time to say goodbye. Almost time to let go again. And definitely time to finish the answer to the ugly question. Perhaps we knew it from the start. I dont know but I think I did. It felt like goodbye for some reason even though every other time it was goodbye too. We decided we couldnt continue living our lives attached to our phones and through our computer screens. We accepted that the 7 hour time difference would definitely make things much more difficult. It was easier in SA to stay connected. We lived the same second. But now in New York, the added frustration of a severe time difference would certainly help end our constant online interaction. So, we said our goodbyes and decided to let go... To see where this new path would take each of us. We reaffirmed our love but accepted that we would have to let the best thing we've known go to the wind and pray it comes around again or takes us with it.
I drove with her to the airport in the cab and as is Dubai, loving goodbyes are forbidden. And so with the smallest peck on the lips, we smiled goodbye and mouthed I love you...
I have a few more days here before I head off for New York. And she's on her flight home. She's free. Free to mourn, free to move on, released... As am I, I guess. What comes next I dont know... But i do know that whatever it is, its gonna have to live next to the memory of the best I ever had, for a long long time to come.
#fallinginlove, #dubai, #internationalLove, #soulmate, #journey, #discovery
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